As armies of roid-riddled wannabe-gangsters slowly tear one another's Tapout tees and Sherman shirts to the piercing shrieks of female orcs, one of the many deep red veiny baked bean heads begins to shake more violently than the rest. This is no human head, but the tip of a hidden volcano. After decades of feeding on testosterone and insecurity, it's vessels rupture as it bursts through the ground and out from the chamber shoots something very unexpected ... a multicoloured jet of molten liquid sound. As silence falls and the ash cloud disperses, angry bald men resume hugging on the ground as if nothing ever happened. Some locals believe the likes of Matthew Le Tissier and Craig David are products of previous eruptions; others claim that the colourful jets end up far further afield.

Our mission is to find, nurture and share these molten jets with you.